Divinely Hooked

I finally got through to the place where I had been told there was a Christian doctor who could prescribe meds and also did counseling. Had that information been correct it would have been great. Unfortunately. It wasn't completely accurate. The doctor is actually a nurse practitioner, and she works at a facility where they offer counseling and other medical services. So, I would have to pay the fee for seeing the practitioner and a separate fee for seeing one of the counselors. The fees were not expensive compared to normal prices, but for us it's not doable. And they don't do any insurance stuff. They can give you a paper to file with your insurance, but I'm not sure how that would work. But I still have another option. There's a female pastor in the next town over that does counseling and I still have to see a regular doctor, neither of which I've contacted yet. I was very upset earlier after I talked to the clinic on the phone. In that instant I felt som

Last night was a horrible night. I had another "Crazysode" and really muffed things up. But I think it was God's way of kicking me in the butt and telling me to get myself help. So last night I emailed the pastor at church that I know that does counseling. He emailed me back this morning to say that he does mostly marriage counseling and referred me to a Doctor here in town that does both counseling and medication. So I'll be calling her on Monday to see if I can get in to see her. It's also at a clinic type place that does cost per income, so that should help with the cost of things. I'm praying that this will work out and that my family will still be in tact by the time I get some healing. http://www.foreverymom.com/dear-mama-satan-is-doing-everything-he-can-to-keep-you-from-reading-this-letter/ This article really hit things on the head for me today. It's such a fight to keep satan and the demons in my head at bay. But healing will come!

I'm having a hard evening. I was trying hard to not bring up an issue with my hubby and wanted to wait until I could talk to him calmly. Then he had a bad day at work so I really wasn't going to bring it up... Then it came up and I had a crazysode. Then going through fb I saw someone had posted John 8:36 "So if the Son sets you free, you are truly free." So where the heck is my freedom!!? I have been praying and seeking for my freedom and it hasn't come!!!! I know I'm just super frustrated and emotional right now, and I know that God has my relief in store, but I'm so exhausted. I'm so tired of this. So tired of being in my head. So tired of being how I am with no relief on sight. Sigh. Hopefully I'll feel better in the morning.

Right now, as I start this post, I'm not sure what path it will take. I have multiple things on my heart and mind. One of those of course being the recent officer involved shootings. I, many times, choose not to watch the videos of what happened, but because I need to have my own opinion on the matter and not just go by what media or others say I will sometimes watch them. These two recent ones have just been horrific. I hope the officers involved are severely punished. And for the officers that shot the man who was already down, whom they already had both of his arms, whom they already shot and then shot him again while he was on the ground with them on top of him... I hope they are charged with murder, because that's what it was. For the man who was shot after telling the officer that he was a licensed to carry. How do you make a choice to shoot someone when they are in a car with their family??  I'm truly saddened by these incidents and wish I could understand