It is real even if you don't want to see it.

Right now, as I start this post, I'm not sure what path it will take. I have multiple things on my heart and mind.

One of those of course being the recent officer involved shootings. I, many times, choose not to watch the videos of what happened, but because I need to have my own opinion on the matter and not just go by what media or others say I will sometimes watch them. These two recent ones have just been horrific. I hope the officers involved are severely punished. And for the officers that shot the man who was already down, whom they already had both of his arms, whom they already shot and then shot him again while he was on the ground with them on top of him... I hope they are charged with murder, because that's what it was.

For the man who was shot after telling the officer that he was a licensed to carry. How do you make a choice to shoot someone when they are in a car with their family?? 

I'm truly saddened by these incidents and wish I could understand why they happened. I would love to be in the officers minds to see their thought processes.

(Side note: I believe ALL officers should wear body cameras. They should be zip tied on to their uniforms every shift so they can't "accidentally" come off. All officers should be held accountable for their actions, no matter what race they are.)

I'm sad for the families of those who were shot, I'm sad for the choices those officers made. And I'm sad for the families of the officers because now they have to deal with the backlash of choices they had no part in.

Both my (black) husband and I have our associates degrees in Criminal Justice. We both have wanted to work in law enforcement. Me, because I've always loved it. And my husband, because he grew up being told to feel a certain way about officers. And when he was in his early twenties he had an really awful experience with an officer. The arresting officer lied about what happened and tried to have my husband charged with a Felony. Thankfully, the rookie officer that was with the main officer stood up against the lies and told the truth and the charges were brought down to a misdemeanor, but the whole experience gave my husband a desire to show others that not all officers are like that. And to show the black community that not all officers are bad. Would this have happened if my husband had been white? I don't know. 

Many, many officers are good people. Many officers desire to do good and to be a help to others. But, like in all groups of people, there are some bad eggs. 

Racism isn't just on one side though. I've had racism against me as well. My husband has had it more, but we have both experienced it since we've been together (8ish years). I've experienced it from both races too. People (white) I used to work with started treating me differently and talking about me because they found out I was with a black man. I've had (black) people give me dirty looks and treat me with disdain because I'm with a back man. My husband has had people call him the N word. He's had people make racial jokes about him. Racism is real. It's still around. People who think it isn't are wearing some very rose colored glasses!

Right now my boys don't see any color. (My stepdaughter does though because she is older and has experienced things herself.) My 7 year old just this past year started to notice that there aren't many black kids in his school. He's just this past year realized that there's a difference in color between mommy and daddy. Not because he's color blind, but because to him people are just people. Mom and dad are just mom and dad. I've always wanted my children to not see skin color. To always love others no matter what race God created them in. But, it's becoming to where I can't really keep things that way. They have to know that there is a difference because they are going to be made to know that THEY are different. They are going to have to know that people are not going to like them or give them a chance because their skin is a little darker. People aren't going to see the gorgeously handsome, sweet boys they are because they won't be able to look past their not white complexion and the curly hair. And that makes me sad. It makes me want to keep them inside and never let them out into society. But I have to trust God. And remember that every experience they go through will make them stronger and God will use each and every experience for His good if they let Him (Romans 8:28).

One race is not better than another. One group of people is not better than another! We are all equal. God created us all with the same amount of love and joy for every single person.

Last night, before I knew about the officers in Dallas being hunted, I was praying and thinking about how all of the shootings and the reactions of people saddens me. And then I thought of God sitting on His throne in Heaven, looking down and the people He created and being completely heartbroken by what He sees. It almost brought me to tears. Here is this world that He created. Created so that He could be in fellowship and relationship with us, and here we are screwing it all up!

What bothers me even more, is that many of the people who are saying the hateful things, or taking the hateful actions (probably) claim to be Christians and believe in Jesus Christ. But their actions and thoughts are not of Christ at all! 

After the shooting at the Pulse nightclub in Orlando some "Christians" said that the gay people there deserved it because they were living the homosexual lifestyle. That crap couldn't be farther from the truth! God NEVER wants his children to be killed! EVER! He never wants us to take another life. Why? Because he created every single on of us. He LOVES and CHERISHES every single one of us! NO ONE, regardless of race, sexual orientation, religion, or any other thing, is better than anyone else. We were created equal by the same God; who is all loving and all forgiving. The 10 commandments are rules to live by. But God's main rules for the New Testament, the New Covenant (Promise) He made with us was to 1) Love Him with all you have and 2) Love others equally with how you love yourself. There were no stipulations to that. NONE!

I do have more to say, but this one is already really long, so I'll save those for another post.

For now, love each other. Treat each other with kindness. Don't look at the color of other's skin. 

Be the light in this very dark world.