Watching Her Fade

When a loved one dies it's hard; but watching them slowly fade away is worse (in my opinion). 
I've always known my mom as a fiercely strong woman that could be feeling the worst pain in the world and you wouldn't know because she would have a smile on her face and trying to help you with your needs. 
Mom was my protector. She was my cheering partner during all of my brother's sports games. She was the one who constantly encouraged me to seek help for my depression even though she was reluctant to even talk about her own. She was always encouraging me to not lose my faith and always work on my relationship with God.

And now...
Now I see a worn out woman that is ready to go Home (Heaven). She has deteriorated quickly in the past week or so. She's forgotten my name, although thankfully she still knows my face. She's forgotten how to brush her teeth and how to use a fork and wash her hands. She no longer walks beside me. She's no longer able to walk at all. She can talk a little bit, but it never makes any sense. 

I'm so very thankful to be here and help care for her. I'm so blessed to be able to give a little bit back to her. I'm happy that I'm able to love her through the end.

While this is hard to watch, I wouldn't change my place in all of this for anything.

I don't know when she will be out of this world and out of her pain and confusion, but I will love her and care for her until the Lord takes her Home.

I love you mama ❤️

Comments

  1. KilabeansNovember 24, 2019 at 2:48 PM

    Probably one of the most difficult roads you will ever be on. I love your heart and willingness to do what needs to be done. Sounds like your beautiful heart and soul was cultivated by the wonderful mother the Lord placed in your life!!

    ReplyDelete

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