No Longer Silent

If you would rather listen/watch instead of read all this, here's the link to my YouTube video. video

I don't know about any of you, but I'm so tired of how this country is behaving! It is truly exhausting.

I am a pretty blunt person and won't beat around the bush. I strive to choose my words carefully so I am not hurtful, but I will not make things that are difficult or nasty seem to be rosy. 

I have grown so much over the years. I value good conversation. I value other opinions, so that I may reflect and gain knowledge. And sometimes learn that my opinion isn't accurate. That my stance is not the stance that Christ would want me to have. That my view is not always the one of love that Christ calls me to have.

With all of the racial tension and unrest lately I've reflected a lot on how much my little family has faced over the years. As a young woman I was told, more than once, that I was racist against my own race because I found black men more attractive than white. I was called a "F***ing cracker" because I was in a black area with my husband and his mom. At a place I used to work people loved me, but talked behind my back about how I could do so much better than being with a black man. As if the color of his skin changed his worth. We have had multiple times where we've gone to a restaurant and been seated away from all the white people. My husband rarely even noticed, but it set me on edge and we stopped eating at that establishment for a very long time. My husband has been called the N-word more times that I can count. He's been the target of racial jokes multiple times, even from my own family. His stories don't even compare to the little bit that I have experienced.

My older son had a hard time at school this year because he's either too dark or too light. Kids called him a "burnt chicken nugget". My little one didn't even know there was a big deal about his parents being different colors until school this year. And that brought on many discussions about skin color and worth. I knew it would happen, I just didn't think it would make him feel like he wasn't as good as other kids.

Despite all of this nonsense that we, as a family, have weathered, I wouldn't change having a black husband or mixed kids for anything. My hubby is an amazing man and we are an incredible, loving team. I wouldn't want to do this crazy life with anyone else. And have you seen our kids?? Seriously, they're gorgeous! 😍

I have heard many white people say things along the lines of "I've struggled and worked hard for everything I have. I didn't get any white privilege". And I'll be honest, I've thought this before too, but I was wrong! White privilege isn't about you having it easy or saying that you didn't work hard for what you have. White privilege is being able to walk around your neighborhood without being questioned or wondering if your neighbor is going to come out with a gun or call the police on you. White privilege is not being followed around the store while looking around simply because of your skin color. White privilege is seeing police lights behind you and not having to mentally calculate if you think you can out run them because it means you have a better chance at going home alive. There are more examples, but I'll leave it at this. Our privilege as white people shouldn't even exist. People of all colors should be treated the same and they're not.

(In my opinion)The Black Lives Matter movement isn't about saying other people's lives don't matter. It is to draw attention to the huge divide between how blacks are treated compared to whites. It is to bring awareness so that it can be changed. Yes, all lives matter, but right now our black brothers and sister need our support.

My husband and I both have Associate Degrees in Criminal Justice. We don't have issues with officers or law enforcement. I, personally love law enforcement and if my eyes weren't awful and I wasn't quite so clumsy, I'd be an officer in a heartbeat!

 We do, however, have issues with those that do not do their jobs correctly. Officers are trained in specific ways. Many people die because they do not follow their training and their protocols. It has to be changed.

My husband has his own police brutality story from back in 2001. Thankfully, the rookie officer stood up for him in court and didn't allow her training officer to up-charge him. Had she not, he would be a felon and life for him would be completely different.

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Things I hate right now:

- The belief that certain people deserve to die because of their past. Example: George Floyd had a criminal record, but hadn't been arrested since 2007. 2007! His record shouldn't have even be brought up in something that is going on 13 years later. 

- Officers getting away with so much crap! They need more accountability. The officers that are stand up people shouldn't get fired because they go against the "brotherhood". (I read an article recently about these type of stories from the upstanding people. If I can find it again, I'll edit this to include it.) They do NOT need to be disbanded or torn apart. What they do need is an overhaul with the right people in the right places.

-Riots and looting. It's just pure selfishness and doesn't accomplish anything. It's not like the looters are looking for white businesses or doing their research about the place they are at, they're looting and tearing up things of all people regardless of race or stance on anything. 

-Politics. I truly, truly hate politics. More to come on this topic.

-Sweating. I know this is a random one in this post, but seriously. I hate it. I sweat as soon as I'm out of the shower. It's ridiculous.

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Racism never left this country. It's been going on continually, just because you've not encountered it in your life doesn't mean it isn't there. Kind of like this virus right now. Just because you don't know anyone with it or someone who has died from it doesn't make it non-existent or not serious. Other countries are already on the down swing of this first round because their people actually locked down. They care enough about themselves and others to stay inside their homes to protect everyone. Here in the U.S. though, we can't possibly do that. We just HAVE to do what we want to do. Why the heck is our country so dang selfish!? Why do people not care about doing what we can to help our citizens as a whole? It seriously blows my mind! If I go to a store or grab some food, I wear a mask. If I have to take my kids with me somewhere, they either stay in the car or they wear masks. It is not going to reduce all exposure, but it's one small thing we can do to protect others and help even in a tiny way. And it is not a big deal. It doesn't infringe on my rights as a human. It doesn't keep me from breathing. What could keep me from breathing though is getting the virus. Also, it's a virus, it's going to morph and change. It has to run it's course. But because so many people refuse to stay away or use the recommended guidelines it's just going to keep going. I don't know why people can't understand that. This virus WILL keep going and WILL keep changing because we are refusing do what we need to do to starve it out.

I am not a political person. I do not even pretend to understand how it all works. What I do know is that it's not working the way it is. This is not how a democracy should be. It reminds me of the movie "Gnomeo And Juliet" blue vs red, always fighting to the point no one can see anything else. What's the point of a democracy if the people that are supposed to be representing us don't even know what we want? I doubt the congresspeople actually read all the letters/emails that get sent. It seems to me that those in the elected positions are so blinded with their party affiliation that they are ignoring how serious many of the matters we are facing are. It doesn't matter to me what party someone is in, what matters is how their values align with mine. 

While I do not like holding someone's past against them, it does need to be considered, especially if it's something that is frequent. For example, someone who has multiple racial comments over the years cannot be believed when they say that they are "for the black voter". (This is not about anyone specific, it's just an example.) People will say whatever they can to get elected and into the place they want to be. Look at their past. Look at what they currently do. Make wise choices in who you vote into elected positions. 

Also, why is there always other things added onto a bill or thing that they vote on? They should discuss and vote on things for what they are, not blocking something important because of the tag-a-long that's in it and not related to the topic at all. Do y'all know what I'm talking about?

I think term limits are a must. What was needed when you go into office aren't the same needs 20+years later. 

Taxes... We all hate them. I don't even pretend to understand them, however, they should be the same for all. Example: Income tax should be a percentage of the income. A person only making $20,000 should not pay the same as someone making $200,000. It should be a set percentage so it's fair to all. You shouldn't get breaks because you have more money, that doesn't even make sense! "You have a ton of money, so here keep more of it, I'll take what I need from the family that's struggling." It's so stupid.

Healthcare shouldn't be so expensive! I'm okay with a bit more tax if that means the homeless person on the corner can get their medication and check ups. Or the person with cancer can fight it fully without having to avoid the needed course of action because it would cost too much. It's not okay that so many people go without necessary medical treatment because of money. Our veterans shouldn't have to only go to the VA and wait crazy amounts of time to get the needed help they deserve. I think there would be a lot less veteran suicides if they could go to any doctor for the help they need and not just the VA.

This next bit will step on some toes, and I'm okay with that. Buckle up. haha

Here's a little news flash for all you white Christians.. are you ready for it?...

**Looks around and whispers** Jesus wasn't white. 😮 I know, shocking! 

No. No it's not shocking if you bothered to pay attention to the story we read every Christmas. He was born in Bethlehem! Which is where?? The Middle East. His skin was a beautiful brown. And that just makes me smile. I imagine him with soft, loving, caramel eyes that sparkle with the love He feels for us. That warmth and love overflowing brings me so much comfort and joy.

I don't know why someone needed to have a white Jesus, but y'all fell for it. Jesus being brown doesn't change his story. It doesn't change His worth. It doesn't change His sacrifice.

I know many Christians who are not accepting or loving of people who are not white. And can I tell you something? That is not Christ-like behavior. That doesn't show His love. That doesn't follow His main commandment.. technically second main commandment. The first being love God with all of your being, the second love others as yourself. It didn't come with stipulations. 

If you claim Christ, love like Christ. 

Christ's love is unconditional. It doesn't change based on who He is talking to. It doesn't change with what you look like. ALL of us are made in His image. ALL of us have sinned and fallen short, and yet He still wants us. He still values us. I think the state of our country and the hearts of many of those in it, breaks His heart. He wants so much more for us and from us.

Stand up people. Stand up for your neighbor. Love one another. Help those who are less fortunate. Protect those that need protection. And STOP holding people's pasts against them. You are not the judge. You are called to love, to love others like you love yourself. 

There are so many important things going on and I could no longer keep silent about them. You may not care what I have to say, you may not like what I've said, and that is okay. I believe in my heart that all things can be fixed if we love like Christ, and not be so selfish.

I pray that you are keeping yourselves safe and open your eyes to what is going on around you. 

If you need mental health help, please get it. It's a hard road, but it's worth the effort. If you do not need mental health help yourself, then be the help for someone else. That can be anything from being a good listener to going to appointments with someone. 

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