Mental Illness SUCKS!

I am so worn out, to put it bluntly. It's so hard to deal with my own mental wellness, but to also having two kids with issues as well is really hard. Many nights I go to bed shortly after they do because I'm completely exhausted. (They go to bed at 8pm.)

Recently my older son, who has comprehension/language disorder and zero common sense among depression, anxiety and adhd, got into trouble because of being around the wrong kid at school. This child is bad news and will be in legal trouble before too long. At the start of the year he lied to my son and stole some stuff from him, and when that happened I told my son to not be around him or be friends with him. Spoiler alert: He didn't listen. I know, you're shocked. This child, recently, gave my son visa cards that were not his and convinced my son he was allowed to use them. This became a huge issue (obviously) and I contacted the school because I had no idea who's cards these where or where they came from. Long story short, they called police, police won't do anything because it's out of their jurisdiction and it was up to me if I wanted to call the sheriffs department. I'd rather not, they don't listen to or believe a child that has communication issues. So, we contacted the other child's parents and they said at least 2 of the cards were theirs and they were paypal prepaid cards. So thankfully, he wasn't able to do any damage on them. And we told the child's parent that we don't want them around each other or being friends, which they were in agreement to.

So we get past that, he's still grounded, and my younger one is really struggling. He is textbook ADHD. He was unofficially diagnosed in Dec by his doctor, just with me explaining how he is. Well he has gotten so much worse since then. He is a stubborn, difficult, defiant, little stinker and I feel so horrible for his teacher and other classmates. And nothing has helped! He's been so bad this week that he's been in the principal's office and should have been suspended. I have an appointment with his doctor next week to discuss what we need to do next. He's very self aware and knows how he's acting isn't okay and isn't right, but he can't get control of himself. And I hate that for him. I know how that feels. He's young, and we've tried talking through things and stuff and that doesn't work. You can't talk your chemicals back into balance. It's not fair for him to hate life and hate himself because things are out of whack. 

I'm so tired of getting emails and phone calls about them. Well, I'm tired in general. I'm up at 5am every weekday, gone by 6:15, work all day, pick up kids, get home between 5-6pm, make dinner, help with homework etc, clean up/dishes (I don't do them every day, I hate doing dishes lol), and at some point go to bed. I try to work on the blanket I'm making for my older son, it was supposed to be a Christmas gift, but I don't get a whole lot of time to work on it. Weekends I sleep and do everything else I'm too tired to do during the week.

I did at least start going to the Chiropractor! I've only been twice, but it has really helped. Next on the list is psychiatrist and pcp. Since I've gained weight by bp is up again. Sigh.

If you are someone who is struggling with mental wellness, please get the guidance and help that you need. I promise it is worth it. It's a long and hard journey, but it is very worth it!

If you do not need it for yourself, but someone around you does, be a help. Don't belittle and make them feel bad about things they cannot control.