Judgmental Person In Recovery
Did you see that title?? Yup, that's me. Although I never noticed I was judgmental, but have come to realize it despite me greatest efforts not to be.
I have had a few people in my life tell me I was judgmental, but I never understood where they were coming from. I would ask them how I was being judgmental and they couldn't tell me. How was I going to fix it, if people couldn't tell me how I was doing it? It's okay though, People didn't need to tell me because God did. He showed me how what I thought and sometimes said was not of His love and was hurting others instead of healing or helping.
I grew up in a home where if you were doing wrong or you were sinning you were called out on it openly and in front of others. So for me, to think differently of someone because of their choices was natural. It was normal for me to think that what I was raised to believe was the right way and there was no other way. If you didn't believe like me then you were a sinner and were going to Hell. But, I was never shown or taught to look at myself before looking at someone else's life. We were taught the passage in the Bible about getting the plank out of my eye before helping someone else get the shard out of their eye, but never taught it to be literal. I was never taught HOW to do that, just that the Bible said it.
It's great, this passage has a subtitle and it's called "Judging Others". How fitting! HA!
We were told that this (the being judgmental) was how we were to "witness" to others. We were taught that we were doing the right thing, when in reality we weren't at all. Even in verse 5 it calls us hypocrites because of this! We were living out these verses (for years) without even realizing what we were doing. And because of this we were hurting our mission of bringing people to Christ.
It really, truly, hurts my heart knowing that I portrayed myself in this way. It really does. I always want to show love to others (I'm still a work in progress). I never want to be a stumbling block to anyone on their path in life and hopefully their relationship with Christ.
This is possibly the reason that I don't have any close friends. I have a lot of just regular friends, but I don't have anyone that I'm really close to (I know it's sad. lol). But this is probably why. I've always thought I was a nice person and I'm very funny (even if I'm the only one that thinks so LOL) so it was hard for me to figure out why no one ever stuck around me. No one ever wanted to continue to be close to me. But here's why: I'm judgmental. (I never thought I'd say that!)
But here's the happy part... I'm in recovery! God has truly shown Himself to me and shown me that thinking certain things, or acting certain ways is not showing His love. How can we bring people close to Him if we're making people not want anything to do with Him? We cannot be viewed like caution cones. Christ was NEVER viewed like that, except for by the religious leaders! Christ was a warm and loving person, that even the most detestable sinners wanted to be around him because they could feel His love. He chose to LOVE them even though he knew every single thing about them. He knew that Joe cheated on his wife that morning, but He still loved him and treated him with love. He knew that Janet was a prostitute but loved her. He knows everything yet still chooses to love us unconditionally. (P.S. Those are made up names.) He know how horrible hateful I am to myself in my head, but he loves me still and chooses to show Himself to me. He knows of my sinful thoughts (which are still sins by they way even if they are not acted on) yet he still loves me. He still wants the best for me. He still hurts with me when I hurt. He still sees and knows how many tears have left my eyes. He still would choose to die for me.
It is not our job to tell people that they are living the wrong way. We can tell them that we disagree with their choices, but we are still supposed to love them with a Christ-like love. We are still supposed to treat them with respect and equality. We are still supposed to help them in their time of need.
So to those who I've hurt because of my judgmental-ness I am truly Sorry. Please forgive me for living a high and mighty life (even if I didn't know I was). And know that I am really trying to improve and to live my life as Christ-like as possible. And know that I love you. <3
That is all for now.
May we continue to be the lights in this dark world!
I have had a few people in my life tell me I was judgmental, but I never understood where they were coming from. I would ask them how I was being judgmental and they couldn't tell me. How was I going to fix it, if people couldn't tell me how I was doing it? It's okay though, People didn't need to tell me because God did. He showed me how what I thought and sometimes said was not of His love and was hurting others instead of healing or helping.
I grew up in a home where if you were doing wrong or you were sinning you were called out on it openly and in front of others. So for me, to think differently of someone because of their choices was natural. It was normal for me to think that what I was raised to believe was the right way and there was no other way. If you didn't believe like me then you were a sinner and were going to Hell. But, I was never shown or taught to look at myself before looking at someone else's life. We were taught the passage in the Bible about getting the plank out of my eye before helping someone else get the shard out of their eye, but never taught it to be literal. I was never taught HOW to do that, just that the Bible said it.
Matthew 7:1“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
3“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?4How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.
It's great, this passage has a subtitle and it's called "Judging Others". How fitting! HA!
We were told that this (the being judgmental) was how we were to "witness" to others. We were taught that we were doing the right thing, when in reality we weren't at all. Even in verse 5 it calls us hypocrites because of this! We were living out these verses (for years) without even realizing what we were doing. And because of this we were hurting our mission of bringing people to Christ.
It really, truly, hurts my heart knowing that I portrayed myself in this way. It really does. I always want to show love to others (I'm still a work in progress). I never want to be a stumbling block to anyone on their path in life and hopefully their relationship with Christ.
This is possibly the reason that I don't have any close friends. I have a lot of just regular friends, but I don't have anyone that I'm really close to (I know it's sad. lol). But this is probably why. I've always thought I was a nice person and I'm very funny (even if I'm the only one that thinks so LOL) so it was hard for me to figure out why no one ever stuck around me. No one ever wanted to continue to be close to me. But here's why: I'm judgmental. (I never thought I'd say that!)
But here's the happy part... I'm in recovery! God has truly shown Himself to me and shown me that thinking certain things, or acting certain ways is not showing His love. How can we bring people close to Him if we're making people not want anything to do with Him? We cannot be viewed like caution cones. Christ was NEVER viewed like that, except for by the religious leaders! Christ was a warm and loving person, that even the most detestable sinners wanted to be around him because they could feel His love. He chose to LOVE them even though he knew every single thing about them. He knew that Joe cheated on his wife that morning, but He still loved him and treated him with love. He knew that Janet was a prostitute but loved her. He knows everything yet still chooses to love us unconditionally. (P.S. Those are made up names.) He know how horrible hateful I am to myself in my head, but he loves me still and chooses to show Himself to me. He knows of my sinful thoughts (which are still sins by they way even if they are not acted on) yet he still loves me. He still wants the best for me. He still hurts with me when I hurt. He still sees and knows how many tears have left my eyes. He still would choose to die for me.
It is not our job to tell people that they are living the wrong way. We can tell them that we disagree with their choices, but we are still supposed to love them with a Christ-like love. We are still supposed to treat them with respect and equality. We are still supposed to help them in their time of need.
So to those who I've hurt because of my judgmental-ness I am truly Sorry. Please forgive me for living a high and mighty life (even if I didn't know I was). And know that I am really trying to improve and to live my life as Christ-like as possible. And know that I love you. <3
That is all for now.
May we continue to be the lights in this dark world!
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