Night time strolls

My mind tends to wonder about a lot of different things when it's supposed to be shutting down for the night.
Normally I lay here and pray, even then random thoughts interrupt my conversations with God.
Lately though I've had more wonderings than prayer, but I keep trying. And I keep praying.. God follows along with my ramblings and thankfully knows my heart even when my mind walks off.
It could also be the fact that I've been eating chocolate (they were on clearance at work after Christmas and I'm a sucker for chocolate and caramel!) and had an amazing piece of chocolate cake earlier (seriously this place my husband drivers to called Pinchers has THE best chocolate cake ever!)... But even without that wonderfulness my mind takes strolls.
Not just strolls.. Full marathon walks sometimes. (That made me think of speed walking and how hilarious those people look doing that) Lol

A lot of the time it's about silly stuff, like grocery items I need to write down or chores I need to get done. Sometimes it's about serious stuff, like my mom's tumor or my upcoming dentist appointment (hear that??? That's my teeth chattering. Lol).

Thankfully since becoming mentally balanced it's no longer thoughts of self hate and loathing. Or thoughts of my family being better without me. It's a wonderful thing to be balanced! It truly is! I don't know that I've ever been balanced and it really is something.

A while back I disciplined my son without being angry and it was totally new to me! I had never been able to do that before! It was an awesome thing!

Anyway.. My mind continues to wonder while my wonderful husband sleeps next to me. Oh how I love that man!

Praying you all have a good night's rest and please don't be afraid or too proud to get help if you need it.

((Hugs))

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I won yesterday.

Yesterday morning I planned to clean the house and get stuff organized because I had people coming over yesterday evening. As soon as I started to get things ready to clean my 2 year old started throwing a fit. Normally I get really irritated and just tell him to knock it off and keep doing what I had planned. But yesterday I didn't. I didn't get mad. I didn't yell. I didn't do what I would normally do. Yesterday I put on one of his favorite movies, sat down, and rocked him. He ended up going to sleep. Then while I was doing dishes he woke up very upset. Again, normally I would be really annoyed, but I sat with him and he calmed down. We sat in the chair together for a while and then he was up and ready to play. But I won yesterday. I won against my anger. I won against the way I usually react. These moments with my children are ones I will never get back. I really need to focus on that instead of the irritants that present themselves. It may be only on
Read more

Depression + Guilt

Can I just say.. Again.. Depression SUCKS! There doesn't have to be a reason why I feel like I'm worthless.. I just do. I'm also a Christian. I try to read my Bible. I pray often. I go to church on Sunday. And I really try to be a good Christ follower. But being a Christ follower and battling depression day in and day out is hard. Because I know in my heart that I'm so very valuable because God created me and loves me unconditionally. But my head just doesn't hold on to that all the time. And then I feel guilty because I don't have that joy and happiness the Bible speaks of. I feel guilty because I'm not the person I'd like to be. I'm not the great Christian woman (parent especially) that I long to be. And that guilt can be so very overwhelming. I constantly feel like I'm failing at everything. Recently, during a discussion with someone I brought up something that is in the Bible. The person asked me to stop bringing up the Bible becaus
Read more

First Blog!

Good morning all! I'm very excited to begin this new journey of blogging!  God has called me to share my life with others so He may be glorified and people may be helped through their struggles.  We weren't created to go through life alone. And thankfully we aren't alone! Many times in life we feel like we have no where to turn and no one we can count on. (That includes me) But through fellowship and leaning on God's loving arms, we can make it through this life. Together. So, here is a small introduction to me: I am a wife, to a wonderful husband. I am a mother to two awesome little boys and a beautiful step-daughter. I grew up as a preacher's kid along with my 2 sisters and 1 brother. I've had to fight for my relationship with God, and find Him on my own. I am a survivor of abuse (NOT by my husband). I am a mother of multiple children I never got to see or hold (miscarriages). I have fought with depression and anger since I was a kid and continue
Read more