A Year Gone By

12/9/2020 (Technically tomorrow)
It's hard to believe it's been a year since my mom has been gone. A year since I saw her face. A year since she drew breath. A year... A very long year.

In a way I'm thankful she hasn't been around to see all the hatred and craziness going on, but I also wish she was still here to talk to. I know she would be heartbroken and fearful with the racial division going on. She loved my husband as her own and referred to him as "my son". She would be fearful with her grandsons growing up with it all going on. And with her cancer battle, it's not something I would want her to see or feel. 
I'm very glad she's not having to deal with this pandemic. If she was still here I would not let anyone come anywhere near her. Which would make treatment a bit difficult. Lol

I miss her smile and her laugh. I miss talking about things of the past. I miss laughing at how much we are alike. I miss talking to her about my depression struggles and the struggles of raising children with it too. She understood. 

I miss laying in the bed with her simply because she wanted me to and wanted to hold my hand. I miss her stroking my hair and telling me she loved me.

A year ago right now I was driving back to your house because we knew it was almost time. I sat up all night laughing and singing worship songs with my older sister as we watched you fade.

It's been a year mama. 
Happy 1 year Heaven-aversary. Give my babies love and Niki a hug. We miss you every day. 

Until we see you again.
I love you!

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