Depression + Guilt
Can I just say.. Again.. Depression SUCKS!
There doesn't have to be a reason why I feel like I'm worthless.. I just do.
I'm also a Christian. I try to read my Bible. I pray often. I go to church on Sunday. And I really try to be a good Christ follower.
But being a Christ follower and battling depression day in and day out is hard. Because I know in my heart that I'm so very valuable because God created me and loves me unconditionally. But my head just doesn't hold on to that all the time. And then I feel guilty because I don't have that joy and happiness the Bible speaks of. I feel guilty because I'm not the person I'd like to be. I'm not the great Christian woman (parent especially) that I long to be. And that guilt can be so very overwhelming.
I constantly feel like I'm failing at everything.
Recently, during a discussion with someone I brought up something that is in the Bible. The person asked me to stop bringing up the Bible because if I actually believed in what it said I wouldn't feel the way I feel.
Talk about a crushing blow.
If I was able to snap my fingers and be perfectly fine and not feel like a crazy person I would have done it a long long time ago!
It's a frustrating walk. Trying to be a Christian woman and struggle with depression is a lonely road. And when the people you try to rely on don't believe depression is real it's even lonelier.
If you know someone with depression, even if you don't believe in it, be willing to listen. Be willing to hug them when you have no idea what is going on. Encourage them and lift them up. Don't add to the battle they are in on the inside. You have no idea how hard it is!
There doesn't have to be a reason why I feel like I'm worthless.. I just do.
I'm also a Christian. I try to read my Bible. I pray often. I go to church on Sunday. And I really try to be a good Christ follower.
But being a Christ follower and battling depression day in and day out is hard. Because I know in my heart that I'm so very valuable because God created me and loves me unconditionally. But my head just doesn't hold on to that all the time. And then I feel guilty because I don't have that joy and happiness the Bible speaks of. I feel guilty because I'm not the person I'd like to be. I'm not the great Christian woman (parent especially) that I long to be. And that guilt can be so very overwhelming.
I constantly feel like I'm failing at everything.
Recently, during a discussion with someone I brought up something that is in the Bible. The person asked me to stop bringing up the Bible because if I actually believed in what it said I wouldn't feel the way I feel.
Talk about a crushing blow.
If I was able to snap my fingers and be perfectly fine and not feel like a crazy person I would have done it a long long time ago!
It's a frustrating walk. Trying to be a Christian woman and struggle with depression is a lonely road. And when the people you try to rely on don't believe depression is real it's even lonelier.
If you know someone with depression, even if you don't believe in it, be willing to listen. Be willing to hug them when you have no idea what is going on. Encourage them and lift them up. Don't add to the battle they are in on the inside. You have no idea how hard it is!
Very true. I'm right there with you. It's a constant battle everyday. ❤❤
ReplyDeleteVery true. I'm right there with you. It's a constant battle everyday. ❤❤
ReplyDeleteVery good! I had to come to an understanding of depression and other mental illnesses in recent years especially as a nurse. In my 20s as a young nurse I did not understand; why can't people "just be happy", "why are they so depressed" and "just don't worry so much". I could not relate therefore I did not understand. As I matured as an adult and a nurse I realize depression is truly a medical physical condition. There are chemical imbalances in the brain that cause depression and other mental illnesses. We have no control over these chemicals. Yes, I believe we have the ability to help lessen the depression by our choices/changes in our life and yes there are medications to help as well. I always believe God can heal and free those suffering depression; but I know some battle it their entire life and it does not make them less of a Christian or display lack of faith. Depression does not define a person. I personally have not experienced depression but I do know it is real and a lot of people suffer from it. Love ya Steph!!!
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