I am not ok right now.

I'm angry. Furious really. I'm crying. I'm screaming. And I'd like to crawl in a hole somewhere and take a very very long time out.

I can only tell people what I need from them to help me through this craziness in my head/body so many times. When they choose not to be helpful I know that I am truly alone.

I try my hardest to be a normal happy person, but some days it's just not happening. And today is one of those days.
I feel alone. I feel battered and bruised. I feel like I'm crazy and that things will never get better.

I push my husband away because I expect him to leave me and give up like everyone else has.

I just want to be done. I want to laugh again. I want to laugh until my stomach hurts. I want to laugh until I'm crying. I want to feel carefree and joyous.

Oh God, please set me free from this binding, release these chains that have ahold of me. God please give me peace!

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