Divinely Hooked

If you follow my blog you know that a couple weeks ago I changed what medication I'm taking. Well, I didn't change the medication, but I got rid of one and started to use a stronger of the other one I was taking already. Unfortunately it's not been a good change. I am back to how I was before I even started medicine. Not quite as clouded over in my head, but I've not been a nice person at all. And I'm miserable. I messaged my doctor the end of last week just to let her know I didn't think this was going to work, but I was going to give it another week to see if my body adjusted. She messaged me back and agreed, and that if things didn't improve to call on Monday and set up a follow up and we would discuss what to do next. So, on Monday I'll call her and I'm praying it won't take long for her be able to get me in. For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, I have depression. For some reason the chemicals in my brain aren...

I had my medication follow up with my doctor yesterday. And... wait for it.... I got my Tetanus booster shot! Now that may not seem like a big deal.. but as a kid I cried my eyes out any time I had to get a shot and it seemed that every time we had to move I was the one that had to get shots. Anyway, it had been 17 years since my last one! I'm a little sore today but not too bad. I didn't even feel her give me the shot! I should take my kids to her when they need their shots! I even called my mom to tell her I got a shot. haha I also am in the process of adjusting my medication. I'm going to be doing a stronger, longer lasting pill of the one that I was already taking in the mornings and slowly phasing out the medication I take at night. I'm praying that it is a smooth transition and doesn't cause me too much grief. I've also got a new birth control to try. Hopefully this will help all the issues and pain I have all month long. ----------------------------...

I didn't realize how long it's been since I've posted! Life is crazy... did yall know that?? lol So I did a three month trial of a low dose of birth control.. needless to say it did not work. I am going back to my doctor next week to discuss what's next. I'm perfectly okay with just taking them out, but they don't seem to want to do that because I'm only 30 years old. My mental stability is still doing well. It's nice not to be getting blood-boiling made over everything. I can't really even say that I've gotten really fired up about anything. Frustrated, yes. But not crazy angry like before. I'm going to be asking my doctor if I can try some different medication though. I'm doing great mentally, but the side effect aren't all that great. They're not horrible, but I want to see about getting on something else that will not have me so tired and lazy. I can MAKE myself do stuff, but I'd rather be sleeping or at least laying ...

Have you ever felt like that?? I know I have. I couldn't understand why things kept happening the way they did. I thought that my miscarriages were punishments from God for having sex before marriage. I thought that all the hard times I went through was His anger toward me.. but boy was I SO wrong! Last Sunday we had a guest pastor come to speak, Pat Schatzline, and it was a great message. (I'll put links to him at the end of this blog.) But I wanted to share what was said and other things I got out of it. It was a powerful message and God came down to us and His presence was truly there. 4 Reasons people think God is mad at them: 1. We often see God as we saw our earthly (flawed) father. When people grow up with out a father around, with an unloving father, whatever kind of father.. we picture God in the same way. But He isn't at all like our earthly fathers. He's so much better! He doesn't get angry when we do stupid things. He doesn't fly off the handle ...

My mind tends to wonder about a lot of different things when it's supposed to be shutting down for the night. Normally I lay here and pray, even then random thoughts interrupt my conversations with God. Lately though I've had more wonderings than prayer, but I keep trying. And I keep praying.. God follows along with my ramblings and thankfully knows my heart even when my mind walks off. It could also be the fact that I've been eating chocolate (they were on clearance at work after Christmas and I'm a sucker for chocolate and caramel!) and had an amazing piece of chocolate cake earlier (seriously this place my husband drivers to called Pinchers has THE best chocolate cake ever!)... But even without that wonderfulness my mind takes strolls. Not just strolls.. Full marathon walks sometimes. (That made me think of speed walking and how hilarious those people look doing that) Lol A lot of the time it's about silly stuff, like grocery items I need to write down or c...

I'm not sure I can accurately express in words how different I feel since beginning my medication. I can't even recall the last time I was actually angry! No more feeling like the Hulk. And... I actually like people!!! LOL I don't have to put on a happy face and pretend to like people and interacting with them.. I actually do enjoy it! My headaches are even better. I don't have them all the time! I do still have them sometimes, but not like it was before. Which really does make a huge difference. My one medication still makes me sleepy, but my other one helps with that. I've also started birth control to try to help with all the pain I have during the month. The doctor doesn't think it will help. She thinks that I have endometriosis that is causing all my issues. If the birth control doesn't help with the pain then she will go in through my belly button with a camera and look around to see what's going on in there. I've only been on the pil...

Since becoming a mother I've really begun to think about and understand Mary, the mother of Jesus. Not only did she agree to become His mother while she was a virgin, a teenager, and pledged to be married to someone else; but she agreed to a very difficult and painful path our of love and obedience to her Lord. Thankfully her husband to be was also obedient to God's calling. I don't know about you, but me at 15 was not at all ready to be pregnant or married! And yet she was ready to take on this task because she chose to follow God's calling for her life. She was found to be worthy to carry God's son, can you imagine the honor she must have felt?! Honor and also terrified! If you have given birth fully naturally you know how painful it. Now imagine doing that while still being a virgin! YOUCH! I really hope that God had mercy on her and made it less painful! As a mom I think of her feeling Jesus moving around in her belly. Feeling His kicks and when He had th...