Lyrical connections

I am a very musical person. I love music and I love to sing.
Many times when we can't really express ourselves we hear a song that says things perfectly.
Or we're dealing with something and hear a song that gives us encouragement.

I've found that my depression transmits through me via anger. Constant anger.
I feel like the hulk in the Avenger movies where he tells his "secret" that he's always angry.
I feel like that. I'm always angry but don't always show it. Or it doesn't always turn me into a monster.

Another way that the depression manifests in me is through making me feel like I will never be enough. I will never measure up. Whether it be in friendships, being a daughter, being a mother, and especially in being a wife. It's never ending. And it wears me down.
It sucks never thinking I'll be enough for my husband because then it leaves room for worrying that he'll find someone else who IS enough.
And even though that is not the case, and he'll tell me I'm enough, it doesn't make a dent in the inner voices that have been there for forever it seems.

And then there's guilt. For always being angry. For not being a better mom and wife. And for being a Christ follower but still battling the depression. (That's another blog all together.)

Anyway I heard a song this morning that really spoke to me in the place I'm in right now. Actually it was a couple but this is the one I'm going to talk about.

Greater by Mercy Me
Bring your tired
Bring your shame
Bring your guilt
Bring your pain

Don't you know that's not your name
You will always be much more to me

Everyday I wrestle with the voices
That keep telling me I'm not right
But that's alright

Cause I hear a voice and he calls me redeemed
When others say I'll never be enough
And greater is the One living inside of me
Than he who is living in the world
In the world
In the world
And greater is the One living inside of me
Than he who is living in the world

Bring your doubts
Bring your fears
Bring your hurt
Bring your tears
There'll be no condemnation here
You are holy, righteous and redeemed

Every time I fall
There'll be those who will call me
A mistake
Well that's ok

Cause I hear a voice and he calls me redeemed
When others say I'll never be enough
And greater is the One living inside of me
Than he who is living in the world
In the world
In the world
And greater is the One living inside of me
Than he who is living in the world

Woah ohhh ohhhh ohhh
Woah ohhh ohhhh ohhh
He's Greater
He's Greater
Woah ohhh ohhhh ohhh
Woah ohhh ohhhh ohhh
He's Greater
He's Greater

There'll be days I lose the battle
Grace says that it doesn't matter
Cause the cross already won the war
He's Greater
He's Greater

I am learning to run freely
Understanding just how he sees me
And it makes me love him more and more
He's Greater
He's Greater

There'll be days I lose the battle
Grace says that it doesn't matter
Cause the cross already won the war
He's Greater
He's Greater

I am learning to run freely
Understanding just how he sees me
And it makes me love him more and more
He's Greater
He's Greater

Cause I hear a voice and he calls me redeemed
When others say I'll never be enough
And greater is the One living inside of me
Than he who is living in the world
In the world
In the world
And greater is the One living inside of me
Than he who is living in the world

There'll be days I lose the battle
Grace says that it doesn't matter
Cause the cross already won the war
He's Greater
He's Greater

I am learning to run freely
Understanding just how he sees me
And it makes me love him more and more
He's Greater
He's Greater
He who is living the world

(http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/mercyme/greater.html)
This is one of my favorite parts: 
There'll be days I lose the battle
Grace says that it doesn't matter
Cause the cross already won the war
He's Greater
He's Greater

I'm going to have battles and I will lose. I'm GOING to fail. But Christ already won the war!! He is greater than every battle I face. And He's with me in these battles. 
I may not win very many of them, but I am thankful that Christ already paid the price for me.
And I have faith that soon I will be better. And I will win the battles.

Depression shows itself differently in different people.
Don't be afraid to get help.

Until next time.


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